Thank god for
Me: Huh, who said that? Brandon Jacobs, is that you? Did you wander into my blog? Whoa slow down there, Brandon. I'll tell you how cinematic speeches work right now.
(Brandon Jacobs is a New York Giants running back and millionaire. Here’s
Well
Me: oh i mean the Internet.
Me: Coach? Oh my god, what is wrong with y… The World Wide Web’s the Internet. You can go on twitter or facebook and follow* your friends from a safe and technically legal distance. You can set up Yahooligans! For your kids …
Me: Riiight.
These movie clips can help you understand the magnitude of important speeches and last words. Remember these words are fragile and you can easily mess them up.
So take my hand, reader, as we soar through the worlds of blu-ray images. Don’t look down. We’re passing all the Van Wilder and American Pie sequels. Don’t be scared. I won’t let you go.
Let’s begin!
So it's game time and your about to throw down. You're so pumped up that you'll have no problem ...
Taking out that goddamn raptor that's been eating everyone.
I'll give you some background. Robert Muldoon, the Game Warden of Jurassic Park peeps a loitering raptor. This raptor has been hanging out, drinking, cursing, and giving the neighborhood a bad name. He can't call the Raptor's parents because ... well ... it was artificially created by scientists. Naturally, he goes to Plan B: Assault Rifle. But when he's ready to shoot ...
My man Muldoon has just been outdone by a fucking dinosaur! D-I-N-O-S-A-U-R! What does he do? He has a 'Real Recognize Real' moment before he dies. His last words consisted of him giving props to a formerly extinct carnivorous creature that plans on eating him alive! He's not even mad he’s gonna die.
To be fair he’s responsible for keeping these dangerous creatures in check. After this fiasco he'd never work again. He’s better off going down all bad ass like in the clip.
His last words still resonate with me today. "Clever girl."
Moral: Don't die like a bitch. That’s why I carry a grenade with the pin pulled out with me everywhere I go.
Game Time Speeches. Scene 2. Mark.
That last scene from Jurassic Park must have left you so inspired. So inspired that you'll get your ring back from two little jerks before they drop it into a random ass lava pit.
Background: The Lord of the Rings is the story of Gollum. Gollum's a lttle person with a story to tell. Gollum had a swagger that few could match. Then two homeless, shoeless little people jumped him and took his clothes. Now they want to destroy his favorite pinky ring by dropping it into a volcano. Who does that? Show some class.
His pinky ring is so powerfully fly that everyone wants it for all the guaranteed 'tang that comes with it. Oh and I think it makes you invisible. In this scene, Gollum has finally tracked down the thieves to the fires of Mount Doom. This won't end well.
Oh, Gollum's the ugly barely clothed dude.
“Precious, precious, precious! My Precious! O, my Precious!” – Gollum
What a waste. What? No. Not a waste of life. Look at him. Gollum looks like Sam Cassell 
He'll never live a normal life.
And if you think that the destruction of a ring that has the power to rule the world is a waste You are WRONG.
What a waste of a Game Time Speech.. It’s your last speech, little man thing. But what do you do? You sell out and plug the movie: Precious, in theaters now, Tyler Perry’s newest film made in association with HARPO productions and starring the fabulously flab Mo’Nique. Gollum, you're a fuckin sell out, bro.
In theaters now!
